Sorry Goodbyes
by quintessentially
Summary: Prentiss must leave her team, but she still has one important goodbye left to say.


She took a deep breath. This was it. She meeting JJ in about an hour to get her passport and straighten things out before she left. For good. Or maybe not. She wasn't sure about how this would end. She wished that she could hope for the best, but she tended to be a pessimist. The way she was seeing things, she would never see her team again. She would never laugh at Reid's nerdiness again. She would never marvel at Morgan's muscles again. She would never look to JJ for sisterly advice again. She would never look to Rossi for fatherly advice again. She would never call up Garcia for an impromptu night on the town again. Most importantly, she would never see Hotch again, never be able to comfort him, never look into his deep, discerning eyes again…

She rang the doorbell. She saw the peephole open, and heard a few locks click. She remembered when he had those put in place, after Foyet shot him. That was the first time she had been to his apartment. She had been by a few times since, but only to drop Hotch off after a long day at work. He never took her up on her offer to go out for drinks, but only because it was always late. He was worried that she would think he didn't like him, but he felt confident that she knew it wasn't think.

The door creaked open. "Prentiss. Please. Come in." He shut the door behind her and began locking the door. "I wasn't expecting you to come by."

"I know. I just- I couldn't leave without saying goodbye." She felt a tear well up in her eye. She was fairly certain that no one on the team had ever seen her cry. Except maybe at Haley's funeral. But that was a funeral; it was acceptable. Prentiss was unflappable. She compartmentalized everything. She was good at not showing emotion when it was important. But with Doyle coming back into her life, everything changed. "Hotch, I just wanted to thank you. For everything. For giving me the chance to come to the team. For bringing me back after I resigned. For looking out for me when I was trapped in Cyrus' ranch. And most importantly, for protecting me now."

"Of course." He subtly nodded. He wasn't one for emotions either.

She thought she saw something in his eye. She couldn't tell if it was a tear, or just the glimmering of the light. All of a sudden, the 5 years spent with the team began running through her head. Every case, every loss, every saved child, every funny joke, every innuendo, every member of her family. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears began streaming down her face. She turned away; she was embarrassed that Hotch, tough, solid, unsmiling Hotch, was seeing her like this.

He reached out to her cheek and ran his hand down it. His hands were warm and soft. She looked into his eyes, and could see a tear building up. "Tell the whole team that I love them. And I want them to continue as they would normally. Eventually, this whole thing will clear up, and I'll come back," she said. Not convincingly, but Hotch knew she was trying.

"I will. But you know, the whole team will miss you. It's going to be really hard on them."

"I know."

"You'll always be in our minds and hearts."

She smiled through her tears. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay in the FBI. She wanted to stay in D.C. She wanted to stay with her team. She wanted to stay here, right here, right now. "And you'll always be in mine."

They looked into each other's eyes, and kept gazing. Prentiss saw years of terror and stress built up, but she saw those layers of hardness melting away, just for an instant. Hotch also saw terror, but it was permanently engraved in her eyes. He wanted her to feel safe. They would catch Doyle, like they had caught Foyet, and she could come back.

"Well," she sighed. "I- I guess I should go and meet JJ. My cab's waiting downstairs."

"Right."

She started to pull away, but Hotch's hand grasped her shoulder and pulled her back. She looked questioningly at him. She thought maybe he just wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"We'll miss you, Emily." He pulled her closer to him until he could feel breathing on him. He could feel her shaking. He rubbed her shoulder and leaned in. "I'll miss you."

He kissed her. It was a warm, passionate kiss, but it was filled with regret. He was sorry he hadn't done this a year, two years, five years ago.

When Prentiss pulled back, she saw nothing but love and worry in Hotch's eyes. She squeezed his hand, which said all that she wanted to say. She walked toward the door, dragging her feet and letting the tears roll down her cheeks. "I'll miss the team," she cried. Hotch opened the door for her, slowly. He gripped her hand one final time. "I'll miss you, Aaron." And she shut the door behind her.


End file.
